Do you feel like your marketing is messy and all over the place? Here’s why and how to change it part 2.

“I don’t know what to say and how to say it”, is a popular self-myth among consultants who want to have consistent communication with their audience online.

The problem is NOT ‘knowing’ what to say, it’s simply being CLEAR with your message.

There’s a distinction here.

Clients come to me often and have disparate ‘knowings’ of what to say whirling around their minds, but need help putting it together into a coherent message + plan that will resonate with the right people (this is my zone of genius).

Much like decluttering, getting to the heart of the message for your ideal client requires strategic removal of the unimportant bits of info spiraling around your mind.

When you’re unclear, it feels like you have a ton of micro-decisions to make about what to say, how to say it and what other people might think about it.

When asked the right questions, my clients are able to put the right pieces of the ‘message’ puzzle together, in a way that clarifies what they do, even to a 5-year-old.

I see a lot of content marketing programs diving straight into “content calendars” and content creation, and here’s the problem with that: If you aren’t clear about your message, what kind of content will you put out there? 

When I work with clients during VIP DAYS, nothing creates more excitement and RELIEF than message clarity, because they suddenly feel like they KNOW what to say.

This excitement will put you one step closer towards consistency.  You’ll know what you want to say and your voice (the unique way in which YOU articulate your message – the ‘how you say it’) will be concise and demonstrate an energy of confidence (even through the screen).

How do you clarify your messaging?

There are many moving parts to clear messaging, but I’m going to focus on 2 important pieces today:

  1. Speaking to your ideal customer
  2. Speaking about your unique way of getting your customers the results they want

Knowing these gives them the motivation to start putting more and more content out there, until they find their groove of where they get the most engagement and the platform they like using most.

Using my messaging process, my clients have started podcasts, weekly Facebook live shows, IG story series, weekly newsletters and Youtube channels.  No matter the platform or the type of content, they’ve been able to publish at least two high-quality pieces of content per month, resulting in getting hired for 2 new projects per quarter.

And voila – consistency!

(BTW, until you’re consistent, you won’t really know what platforms, what messaging resonates with your clients – more on that in another email)

Here’s what you can do to get clear on your messaging – and this is exactly what I work on with my clients in my 1:1 program:

  1. Who are your clients? What do they want more than anything?
  2. What’s the situation that would have potential clients pick up the phone and call you right now? (get really specific here)
  3. What do they THINK / BELIEVE they need to do in order to get the results they want?
  4. What is the thing YOU KNOW they need in order to get the results they want?
  5. What is the ‘thing’ that will signal they’re ready to buy your service (are they frustrated with something, have they tried alot of different things that don’t work, has something specific occurred, what have they already done to solve their problem?)?
  6. How does your service tie into the results they want to have?  Seems like an obvious thing, but when you write it down, you’ll be a lot more clear with how to articulate it
  7. What are the deliverables + results they’ll have in hand after you work together? I often review clients I’ve worked with every quarter and write out the results they have AFTER working together – these can be tangibles like – a new podcast, new clients, new website copy, a new workshop – OR intangibles like more confidence to speak up, more clarity on their unique services
  8. How is your service / product different from what’s already offered out there (Hint: this has alot to do with mapping out your process, which I’ll discuss in the next email).
  9. How will you qualify them as a good fit? What kinds of resources do they need to have in place for you to help them AND get the results they want? – ->> don’t skip out on this one, it’s critical.

**Get a pen & paper and write this out.  Then, write a post / email using this framework:

Most people believe ________________[what your clients think they’re missing], but the truth is __________________[what you know is missing].

When you are _____________________[doing the thing they believe will get them results], you are missing out on a critical piece that will help you ________________[the results they want].

Most of my clients come to me when __________________ [the situation that happens right before they call you], so I know this is common.

When most other ____________[people in your industry]___________________[how they tackle the problem], I  ___________________ [what you do first, AKA, your unique process] first thing before anything else, because after working with __________________ [number  / type of client you’ve worked with], I’ve learned this is the quicker path to _____________________ [the results they want].

I help ____________  who are _______________ [their specific situation(s)], who have already ___________,____________ and ___________ [resources they have in place] and have done ___________,_________,__________[what they’ve already done that hasn’t worked], but want to have ___________________ and __________________[results they want instead].  Using my unique process, they end up with _______________ [deliverables / results] after working with me for________________ [timeframe].

If you are already _____________, _____________, _____________ [resources they already have], but want to have ____________ and ____________ then [DM me / reply to this email], because _______________[your offer] will help you with this.

We will chat briefly, I’ll ask you a few simple questions to see if this is a good fit for you.

The above framework includes all the messaging pieces mentioned above, and obviously won’t work exactly this way for EVERY business, but you can tweak it to match yours!  This framework will create at least 1 response, assuming you know your audience.

Messaging is one of the things I address with my clients in my 6 Week 1:1 program that takes consultants who are already enrolling clients from referrals but want to create an organic marketing system to enroll clients from social media and Google. This is about 70% of what we work on.  We also work on clarifying your offer + pricing, how to spend less time creating content, how to qualify clients and tracking results.  This method will help you get at 2 pieces of high quality content out there consistently per month, to start, without overthinking or doubting what you have to say.  This will result in getting hired more consistently.


Comment down below if you’re interested in this program and we will chat to see if you’re a good fit; if so, we can get you started as early as the first week of October.

Do you feel like your marketing is messy and all over the place? Here’s why and how to change it part 1.

“I wish I was more consistent with marketing my business”, is what I hear so often when I speak to business owners.

Do you hear yourself saying this?

In a recent survey I conducted, this was the #1 topic my audience (80%) was interested in learning:

How to be consistent in marketing their business.

Why is this important?

Because consistency will tell you something very simple – what’s working and what’s  NOT working for YOUR business.

You won’t be sitting there thinking..”I don’t know where to start, which marketing channel is best for my business?”  You’ll just do it and you’ll know it works.

Sadly, this digital world is filled with noise, with new experts popping up in your feed every day, telling you what’s missing in your business and if you follow their method, your marketing will finally work!

I’ve been there.  I’ve signed up with consultants who told me I need to implement things THEIR way if I wanted to ‘get more clients’, but when results still didn’t show up, they said I wasn’t doing it 100% like they taught it, therefore it wasn’t working.

Um, no.  That’s more like gaslighting.  

A lot of my clients come to me after following a lot of ‘online gurus’, taking courses that taught them different methods, finding they never worked as expected.

When you have a knowledge gap, it’s a good idea to take a course, but it starts messing with your focus when you find yourself in the spin cycle of too much information and too many different methods.

When you’re focused, you’ll be able to figure out YOUR best method and when you solidify it, the marketing will work for you.

And voila – consistency!

So, how can you find YOUR BEST method and become more consistent in marketing your business?

I’ll be honest here and say, if you don’t want to spend money on ads and you want to figure out what’s working and what’s not quickly, you’re going to have to take the hands-on approach and invest some time, at first.

That means, ideating, writing, recording videos, scheduling posts, planning, tracking.

Maybe also creating an excel spreadsheet (nothing too fancy).

Doing this will save you a lot of time in the long run.

This is what I teach my clients.

I’m going to dedicate the next few posts and let you know exactly what you need to have in place in order to be consistent in marketing, figure out what works and what doesn’t, so that consistent marketing will work for you.

Today, I’m going share the first thing that’ll need to be addressed in the consistency factor:

Overthinking before creating: negative thoughts about consistency + information overload.  They stop you before you even put pen to paper.

✨ If you find yourself saying…”ugh I’m so inconsistent”   – AND – 

✨ If you find yourself consuming alot of other people’s content  – AND – 

✨ If you find yourself saying.. “I don’t know what to say or how to say it..”

Please pause and note:  You’re putting other people up on a pedestal and diluting your own expertise.  When you feed your mind other people’s information, and have negative thoughts about your content and  “being consistent”, you’ll have ‘creator’s block’ because your mind is occupied with what you’re NOT DOING and what ‘other people are saying’.

You know what you want to say, but you have to allow the content to flow out of you.

Try this out:  

✨ Don’t consume anything for 3 days (podcasts, mentors’ posts, colleague’s posts, professional books)  – tune out the noise

✨ Tell yourself you’re being ‘consistent’ and just forget about this word for now – mind your thoughts

✨  Write a brief summary of all your accomplishments, why you’re the expert in your field and why you’re the one to hire. – listen to yourself

What I shared above is one of the FIRST things I address with my clients in my 1:1 program that takes consultants who are already enrolling clients from referrals but want to create an organic marketing system to enroll clients from social media and Google. I also address clear messaging, how to spend less time creating content, and tracking results.  If you’re interested in this program send me an email and we will chat to see if you’re a good fit; if so, we can get you started as early as next week.

The one thing I wish I’d known to create the RIGHT kind of Content

This week in my Messy Middle Mastermind, we spoke about (surprise, surprise) marketing on social media.  

I’m talking about organic marketing – creating and publishing content that promotes your brand and your products/services.

So, back in my mastermind, there were 2 ‘thought’ camps about posting for the purpose of marketing:

1 – My content isn’t as good as ‘theirs’ 

2 – I don’t want to sound like that person I always see marketing their business, they look so unprofessional.

Both feel like..”I’m going to be judged, mocked, criticized”

These thoughts are exactly why my clients were not marketing their businesses.  It’s not because they have to improve their content.

How do these thoughts creep into your head?

  • Scrolling alot and not realizing you’re taking in information and it’s staying in your awareness
  • Not writing or creating enough or giving credit to your creative genius
  • Did I say too much scrolling?
  • Maybe you’re friending too many people in your industry and it’s just bringing you down.

Social media fills our heads with too much noise of ‘having to be a certain way’, which isn’t the truth.

I wish someone would have given me this insight when I started. I was stuck on “what should I post, I don’t know what to say” because I thought any content I’d write would be lame.

And maybe someone out there thinks it is. To that I’d say: 🖕🏼🖕🏼

If you want to market your businesses consistently, but are having a difficult time doing it, I want to reassure you that:

NO MATTER WHAT YOU POST for the purposes of MARKETING your business, it’s better than NOT POSTING AT ALL.  Whatever you put out there is good enough.

As time goes on, you’ll tweak it, improve it and create it more quickly.

I say start messy, don’t worry about getting it ‘right’.

Like anything, practice makes perfect.

I’d love to know your thoughts.

 

Well, that launch went well. (It did not.)

A few years ago I consulted to a small music tech startup that was launching a wireless guitar accessory that modified the sound of electric guitars.

The product was very innovative, and the company had raised money to launch it.

As is often the case with tech startups, the founders were two very tech-y engineers and had no marketing knowledge.

I knew my role as a marketing person would be challenging because I’m no guitarist and have no idea what their potential customers like.

But I’m creative and can find connections between things quickly, so I knew I could help them.

When I entered the project, the company had just completed a pre-launch of the product and it flopped.  Results were close to zero.

They said, “We don’t understand, this product is every guitarist’s dream come true.”

Hm.  

I reviewed all of their marketing and promotional materials in depth and watched hours of videos demonstrating the product, how they spoke about it and presented it to their audience.

I noticed that audio and video product demos usually played heavy metal or Jimi Hendrix songs.

I had this thought that MAYBE their people didn’t resonate with that kind of music, but I was immediately shot down with this idea.  And when I asked why this kind of music was always used in videos and promos, they said that this was their audiences’ favorite kind of music.  

How did they know this? They assumed it, because it was their favorite (and anyway, tech engineers know best – cue big eye roll).

Of course, I wanted to test this assumption, so when they signed a partnership deal with Guitar World Magazine, I pushed for a different kind of campaign  – to send a survey to the magazine’s 100K+ email list, which would help us nail down EXACTLY what guitarists wanted to hear.

Because they were eager to launch again (and launch with results), they went for this idea.

Well well well.

As it turned out, only 20% of respondents (over 500) favored Jimi Hendrix and heavy metal.  Most people favored Eric Clapton and Blues.

“Womp Womp, you engineering geniuses!” 

This was just ONE bit of data that surprised them and confirmed why the pre-launch didn’t work.

Please survey your people. Get to know them better, understand what they want so that you can serve content that’ll make sense to them and will let them know you get them!  

In the spirit of surveying, I’ve also created a summer survey!  I want to get to know you better, create content that’ll benefit you and your business and will help you share amazing content that will attract the RIGHT clients.

Help me create better content – – >> https://bit.ly/summer-survey-21

And because I ❤️ & appreciate your time, if you fill out the survey by Monday 9/6/21 at 11:00PM EDT, you’ll be entered to win a $100 gift card from Amazon.

I will announce the winner on Tuesday 9/7/21 at 3pm EDT and will notify them via email.

HERE is the LINK again

It’ll take you 10 minutes or less  – I really appreciate our connection 🙂

Need your help with this Summer Survey

How is it already the end of August? 

I love summer so much, I never want it to end!

As you know, I’ve taken some time off this month, and I’ve been thinking about all that I’ve accomplished this year.

This time last year, I decided to hunker down and figure out exactly what it’ll take to consistently be visible in my business – to provide valuable content to my readers, to promote my offers, to build and engage with my audience.

I mean, I’ve always been a marketer, and I’ve always kinda marketed my business, but not so strategically and not very consistently.

But today, I’m proud to say, I’ve figured it out!

I’ve been sending out emails, writing posts – new content every single week for the past year.

I know exactly what has to be done in order to create a system, a content machine that will allow me to consistently market my business, support my launches, even when I’m not there!

(this blog was written and scheduled to go out before August!)

I write content with you in mind, so I want to make sure that this content lands exactly where you need it to.  

I love writing, but if the content isn’t surviving its purpose, I want to tweak it – my mission is always to help you find your voice and share it so that the RIGHT clients will find you.

In the spirit of summer and in celebration of the end of it, I’ve created a summer survey to help me better understand how to help you create content and use it to build your client base.

So, if you have a business, or if you’re selling something, please help me make my content better by filling out this survey, which will take you 10 minutes or less to complete.

I want to make sure I’m providing valuable, helpful content you’ll love reading.

Here is the link to the survey: https://bit.ly/summer-survey-21

As a token of my appreciation, anyone who completes the survey by Monday 9/6/21 at 11:00PM EDT, will be entered to win a $100 gift card from Amazon.

I will announce the winner on Tuesday 9/7/21 at 3pm EDT and will notify them via email.

HERE is the LINK again

It’s been an amazing year, full of challenges, failures and successes and I’m so so grateful for our connection!

Thank you for not giving up on me

Earlier this year, I launched a new workshop and emailed my list, existing clients and prospects about it several times during the week – automated + personal emails.

Lots of emails landed in people’s inboxes.

Fact: It takes ~ 5 emails for a potential customer to say Yes.

On a coaching call that same week, a client said, “I don’t want to bother my audience by sending out too many emails, bc I don’t like it when I get too many.”

Also fact: Your thoughts about what your audience wants are just assumptions unless you validate them (asking them directly or thru data).

Don’t let assumptions be your guiding principle.

It’s tough to capture people’s attention these days. They might see an email and they’ll think about it. Then, they’ll see another email, which will convince them to go check you out on social media and read testimonials on your website.

And when they receive that last email, they will have already been convinced.

I know this happens because I survey my clients often. I ask them what made them sign up and how they arrived at a decision.  People also respond often to my emails during launches.

One woman thanked me for contacting her and not giving up on her. Then, she attended my paid workshop.

This is your friendly reminder to keep communicating with your people, whether it’s in free content or promotional.  

People don’t necessarily respond right away.  It doesn’t mean they’re not interested.

You’re not bothering them. If they signed up, followed, liked, they want to hear from you.

When they buy your service/product and get the results they want, they’ll thank you.

Have you ever surveyed your audience? If you want to get to know them closely, here’s a simple way to do this (via automated emails or personal ones):

  1. Think of 3 or more questions you would ask your audience, followers, customers if you had a chance to speak with them privately.
  2. Create a simple Google Form with the 3 questions (Pro tip: open ended questions will give you more insight into how they think and feel)
  3. Send an email (automated to your list, or personal), asking them to fill it out, and give them an incentive to do so. (for example: Everyone who responds is entered to win, the winner receives a gift card).
  4. Review all responses and pick out the main words, phrases and language your audience uses to answer the questions you’ve asked.
  5. Create content that answers their questions and solves their problems.

Warning: You might find that the people in your world are not the RIGHT customers after all.  

Keep communicating with your audience, they want to hear from you!

People are bananas and the Worst Criticism

“I LOVE criticism about my creative work” – said NO creative PERSON EVER!

Actually, said no human ever.  

People ask me often if I receive rude replies to my emails and how I handle criticism.

Honestly, criticism has made me doubt myself often.

Some people don’t love my words, and I’ve received some mean comments and responses to my emails and other content.

Seems like the more content I put out there, in any shape and form, the more criticism I receive.

Sometimes I receive responses full of rage.  

Not only do people unsubscribe from my list, but I’ve been reported as a ‘spammer’, I’ve been told my emails are stupid and crappy, some emails have included a subtle ‘F*@$ you’.

Some of these unexpected emotional reactions came from content I write on behalf of my clients, from THEIR audience, and then my clients forward these responses to me. Ouch.

I used to take this personally and get really upset – I’d put my work on a long ass pause, and in some cases I’ve turned down clients because I thought my writing wouldn’t be good enough.

I’ve thought alot about this and at some point concluded, “Maybe there’s good information here, maybe I can learn from this?”

After a while, I realized, “NAH…. if someone is going to throw an adult temper tantrum at an innocent newsletter, then it has nothing to do with me or the quality of my writing.”

I think many people are going through some sensitive times right now, no use letting someone’s shit fit dictate whether your work will be seen or not.

Your words are important.

Oh and then also, I save these fun criticisms in a folder I call “people are 🍌”, to remind myself that it’s not about me, but just a hand of bananas  – and also they make great content!

People are bananas and the Worst Criticism

Keep sharing your voice!

I Need to Rebrand my Business + Build a New Website

On a recent call, I spoke with a G about her business.

She doesn’t do one thing, and she isn’t one thing.

She’s an artist, a tarot card reader and a nutritionist.

She thought her business ‘required’ certain things to grow her client base.

She said, “I want to rebrand + build a new website, so I’ll be able to be more focused with my message and get more clients.”

As we drilled down into specifics, she revealed that her business wasn’t earning as much as she’d like and she thought that she could ‘earn more’ if her website was more professional looking.

She said, “I want more work, I want to help more people, but I just don’t know how to ‘get more clients’.

If you’ve been following me, you know how I get a twitch in my left eye when someone says, “get clients”.. Because…

Clients aren’t for the ‘getting’ and the RIGHT clients can COME TO YOU with the right message.

Photoshoots, rebranding, new websites are just a distraction.

And you know where she got the idea that her website wasn’t professional looking?

Friends, family, some random experts on social media who said professional websites are the missing link to more clients.

Fact: Many of my clients have had businesses for 20+ years, without a website and no social media presence. 

It’s not necessary. 

I’m not saying it won’t be un-important forever, or that it’s not FUN, but if your business isn’t earning what you want it to earn, and if you’re still trying to figure out from where new clients are going to land, the website+rebrand can take a backseat for now?

Are you trying to figure out a good marketing strategy when scrolling social media?  Are you surveying non-experts for their opinion?

Stop it. 

If you want to attract new clients and understand exactly where they come from, I would suggest doing something else.   Follow these 5 steps:

1 – Define your target market – what are their problems, their needs, their wishes, their desires? What is missing for them?  What is your solution?

2 – Survey your target market – maybe you have a small email list, maybe you’ve been active on social media.  Ask them targeted questions and record everything.  Note their language and the words they use.  Present your solution to them and ask them questions about it (best if questions were open ended).

3 – Clarify your message according to the survey- create your brand voice, map out your main messages, your values and stories that support these (nothing like a great story, but if a story doesn’t have an underlying message, it’ll soon be forgotten).  Create a communication plan that supports your messaging.

4 – Create an offer that is an extension of your messaging – for example, one of my main messages is “you don’t need a website in order to grow your client base, you can do this by talking to a lot of people – in person, on social media, via email”.  My 1-DAY VIP OFFER (where we spend 4-5 hours on your business together), we clarify your message (so you can clearly articulate your work in speaking and writing), create an offer, and create a content plan to which you can refer people who ask about your work.

5 – Communicate with as many people as possible  – put your content out there, be as visible as possible, share your message, make offers on email, social media and face-to-face.  When people ask you what you do, you can tell them with words AND refer them to your work on social media (FREE) or invite them to sign up to your email list, where they can receive content you worked on in #3.

Once you have these in place, you will have a lot more clarity about what your ‘new brand’ will stand for and what your ‘new website’ will look like.

In the meantime, you will have understood what your target customers want, how they communicate and if your offer resonates with them – you will even EARN money along the way.  

OH, and don’t think you have to have all the pieces above in place in order to share your message – you can do that imperfectly and immediately.  Once you start working on your message, so much will be revealed for you! 

As a matter of fact, I encourage all my clients to get ‘messy’ with it and to practice it before it’s perfect. 

Perfect will never come!

Either way and whatever you choose, there’s no right or wrong – your journey in this is unique to you.  

 

Adult Summer Camp

“Where are you heading?” asked the taxi driver.

I was in York, UK, on my way to meet up with my hot British boyfriend (more on that later).

“To York science park please,” I responded.

“Are you on vacation?”, he asked.  I responded, “No, I’m on work-cation.”

That’s been my usual joke every time I’ve since I’ve opened up my business.

I haven’t taken a REAL vacation, without my laptop and without thinking about work at all.

I’ve been thinking and worrying about work every single day these past 8 years.

And though I’ve been to beautiful places, my mind wasn’t ever at ease.

When I think of being ‘lazy’, I feel guilty – My mind tells me that in order to be effective and successful in life, I have to constantly be ‘on the move’. 

There’s no time to relax!

This behavior – no bueno.  And now, I’m paying for it with my health.

So, I’ve decided to take off in August – completely.  Except for meeting with my Messy Middle Mastermind ladies, I’m not going to do ANYTHING.

I’m not going to think about work at all, I’m not taking on new clients, and I’ve already declared it to the universe – she’s going to keep me accountable!

I’m only doing things that nourish my soul and feel fun!

So I’ve packed my bags, I’ve scheduled all content ahead of time (can’t leave you hanging without stories, rescheduled all meetings, declined giving presentations…

Guess where I’ll be going?? NOWHERE!  I’ll be right here, enjoying a month of “LAZE” with my little munchkin – that’s my version of summer camp!

If you’re looking for me, we’ll be at Legoland, riding our bikes along the Hudson River, camping in the Poconos and swimming at our town pool.  

How about you?  How will you spend August??

It’s never too late to make a list of things to do this summer.   I’ve made a list of all the things I want to eat, play and LOVE  in August, so that it feels extra relaxing and LAZY.

 

Here it is 👇🏼

Food:

1 – Culina Yogurt – this vegan yogurt is made of coconut cream and is by far the best one I’ve ever had (and I’ve had many).  I might even say this tastes better than regular yogurt.

I can only find it at Whole Foods.

2 – Cauliflower sandwich thins by Outer Aisle Gourmet – My nutritionist is encouraging me to load up on protein and fiber and these do the tricks.  Buh Bye bread, hello Cauliflower sandwich thins.

3 – The Pancake Factory – Please review the menu. Warning: browsing through the menu may make you gain 5 pounds. Enough said.

 

Good reads:

*-* Currently reading Cultish, which talks about linguistic patterns in cult-like brands.  I’ve been reading a lot about cults recently, because I’ve noticed that there are many ‘social media’ gurus who use language to build their brand and following, and as a source of influence.  I was creeped out recently by a coach I’ve been following, and then I noticed so many other people being cult-y – and then my friend, by chance, bought me this book – serendipity!  The universe wants me to know!

*-*Talking Shrimp newsletter by Laura Belgray a newsletter from a woman who writes for a living, and presents entrepreneurship and humanity in a way that makes you come back for more.

 

Podcasts:

*-* Outlier Mom My dear friend Kim Ziellinski launched a new podcast called Outlier Mom – for women who love being moms, but also want to be so much more, to get more alone time, to balance their time away and time together, sans the guilt-  to ditch the ‘should’s’ and do life THEIR WAY.

 

Learning + Investing:

*-* Cryptocurrency – you’ve probably heard about Cryptocurrency by now, and if you haven’t, now is the best time to invest time in learning about it.  I want to earn more money and I figured – there must be a dozen ways to earn it, rather than just work for it (more “laze”, please).  I joined a mastermind led by my close friend Nicole Michal who teaches about trends, trading, investing in the cryptocurrency market.  This is the future of money, and I think it’s super important to get into a room with other women who are working on their financial savviness.  

 

Netflix:

*-* No list would be complete without listing at least one Netflix series.  I’m really into historical fiction and so my choice for the summer was The Last Kingdom – based on Bernard Cornwell‘s The Saxon Stories.  Set in 866, the story focuses on how one man (a Saxon raised by Vikings that invaded England) leads several battles and rallies for peace during a time of ongoing Viking incursions in the southern part of the country.  Of course, there’s violence, drama, sex + love – perfect for the summer!

 

Fashion:

I’m into light comfortable clothing this summer, non-fancy capsule wardrobe (that’s fancy for minimalist, lounging around the house and also wearing out).

*-* I love this dress!  I found it at Gap Factory and immediately bought 3!

*-* I love this jumpsuit – I dress it up and wear it out and I also sometimes practice yoga in it – so comfortable and made with high quality materials!

 

Fun in the Sun:

No links here, but here are things we’re going to do next month:

** Kayaking

**Paddleboarding

**Treetop obstacle course

**Zip lining

**swimming in a lake

**Speedboating

 

What are your plans for wrapping up the summer? Let me know below!

I’m such a mess

Before & after. Live on Instagram.

So many squares of notable, linear transformations. 

How do they get from B->A so quickly? 

Am I doing something wrong? When I decide I want to change something in my life or business, it looks more like:

  • Crying in the shower, asking ‘why me’.
  • Feeling anxious, stressed, doubtful, unsure
  • Questioning myself every day
  • Having freakouts
  • Lashing out at my child
  • Feeling negative all day
  • Having a huge to-do list but watching 4 seasons of the Last Kingdom (Uhtred, save me!)
  • Trying to meditate but it ain’t happening
  • Doing all the things I ‘should’ be doing and seeing absolutely no change.

Meh.  Why doesn’t anybody talk about the messy-in-between?  Those moments when things aren’t going your way & you find yourself crying in a dark corner alone, more often than not?

Those days when you want to keep working towards your goals, but see no reason to believe you’ll get there?

Oh and those days when you feel like you just can’t stay on track, so you stay in bed all day screaming to no one – “where are you AFTER?”

The average mis-leader will say, “This is where I started, and look at me today!  This is possible for you TOO in this same exact timeline, if you follow my formula” – but that’s a lie.

I wish more people would say, “ I wanted to have____________, I’m in the mess, this is what it looks like…”

Where are you, champions of the mess, deniers of “the after”?

I know you’re here.  

Why doesn’t anyone admit we exist?  We like to complain, to be negative, to feel badly, rage and we believe in acknowledging the messy moments for what they are – chaos, loss of control.

It doesn’t make logical sense to continue, that discomfort feels like it’ll last forever – it’ll never work! 

Those picture perfect IG squares are a scheme to make us feel badly about our version of the ‘before’.  We’re not stuck, we’re simply experiencing disorder.

I’m starting the Messy Middle Movement  – we’re in the shitstorm, we can share authentic shitty moments and say we’re NOT OK!  

We can keep going towards our goal, or not, but we know we’ll eventually get there. Because there’s no such thing as ‘after’, only how we experience the messy middle.

Here’s how I teach my clients to “ride the mess”:

    1. Ground in your body – know that coming back into your body will always help you get out of your head. Much of the mess is experienced in our minds, and when you activate your senses (smell, taste, hearing, sight), you will move out of your head more quickly.  Some suggestions – go for a walk, diffuse essential oils, get a massage, stretch, touch something soft, hug someone  and just FEEL YOUR BODY.
    2. Acknowledge how you feel –  shine a light on those feelings, thoughts, even when they bring you discomfort.  When you are feeling stuck and like nothing is going your way, take a seat, breathe deeply and allow yourself to feel the emotions.  You don’t need to ‘do’ anything – just be with them.
    3. Surround yourself with people who are compassionate, understanding who will listen to you – The best thing to have is a shoulder to cry on, the worst thing to have is ‘advice’.  To experience the mess fully, understand the lessons and bounce back stronger, and you’ll want to hear yourself and have someone your trust hear you too.  Advice is tough to take in when you’re ‘in the mess’, so choose to be around people who will want to listen and make you feel comfortable.
    4. Don’t scroll on social media – This is completely subjective to my experience, but I know myself, and in messy times, I tend to compare myself to others.  Social media exacerbates comparison-itis in me.  If that’s not you, carry on 🙂
    5. Write lists & doodle – There’s no better time for creative expression. Writing lists will keep your mind organized!  Write out lists of times when you’ve handled messy situations, of times when you’ve transformed, of things that happen on a good day, of things you want to experiences, places you want to visit, new restaurants you want to try… and doodle away right on those lists. These actions shift your current line of thinking and shift your focus towards activating your creative mind.

You’ve got this!  The messy middle can feel intense, but how you experience it is up to you.